We Can't All Be Rattlesnakes

I am a snake.

No, not a rattlesnake. I just look like one. I''m a gopher snake.

One day an oily, filthy, fleshy human child crossed my path. As luck would have it, he knew the difference between a gopher snake and a rattlesnake. He has imprisoned me in a terrarium. His name is Gunnar. He calls me Crusher. He thinks I''m male. I''m not.

He dropped in a dead mouse and hoped I''d eat it. I buried it. He then dropped in a live one, which he called "Breakfast." I didn''t lay a coil on it.

Gunnar thinks I''ll be his adoring pet. He''s wrong.

In fact, I am planning my escape. I may take Breakfast with me.

Crusher will charm readers in this entertaining, clever novel about a snake in captivity and how she turns the tables on her human captor.